No one can predict the future. As mom and dad start to age and life gets a little more challenging, we do our best to tend to their medical needs to keep them as healthy for as long as possible. But one area that is often overlooked by many parents and their kids is having the money talk. Who inherits any assets that mom and dad have? Who oversees the estate? Is there enough money to pay for a home healthcare worker if needed?

When illness or death strikes, it’s a stressful time. To make things easier on everyone, it’s best for parents to talk about finances with their children years ahead of time, when everyone can think clearly and is more relaxed.

While there is indeed a lot of ground to cover, here are 10 must-ask questions that need to be answered.

 

  1. Have they named a durable power of attorney to manage their finances?

The first step is to find out if they have named a Durable Power of Attorney (POA). Without a POA in place, you’ll have to go to court to get guardianship of your parents in order to access accounts on their behalf.

 

  1. Where do they keep their financial records?

Whether they keep their money and documents in a bank, a safe or under the mattress, you need to know where to find records when you need them. Also, find out the location of keys or codes to lock boxes or safes.

 

  1. What are their bank account numbers and names of their financial institutions?

In addition to knowing where they keep their money, you need specifics on all account numbers. What banks and mortgage company do they use? Do they have an investment firm? How many credit card accounts do they have and where do they keep their statements?

 

  1. What are your parents’ monthly expenses?

Gather information on their mortgage, car payment, credit card debt, electric bills and other expenses.

 

  1. How do they pay their bills?

If there are automatic deductions being taken out of a checking account, you need to know about them. Do they use online banking/bill pay or only paper checks?

 

  1. How much is their annual income and where does it come from?

Do your parents receive monthly pension checks? Do they have dividends coming in from investments? Do they get money for a disability or alimony?

 

  1. Do they receive Medicare, Medicaid or Social Security?

If your parents have become incapacitated, you may have to investigate the status and eligibility of government assistance.

 

  1. What kind of medical health insurance do they have in addition to Medicare?

Do they have health insurance provided by an employer? If they are retired, are health benefits included as part of a pension?

 

  1. Do they have long-term care insurance?

A “regular” health insurance plan does not cover the cost of assisted living or a nursing home. Did they purchase a long-term care insurance policy to cover the cost of those residences? If not, and they can no longer live on their own, what can they afford in terms of housing?

 

  1. Do they have an accountant or financial planner?

Who is it and how do you contact them? Have they done any estate planning? Ask if you can meet with their financial professional with them to discuss their situations.

 

It’s best for parents and children to figure things out about money and plan for the future as soon as they can. All too often it’s too late, and trying to discuss money in a stressful time leads to more stress, arguments, saying things you regret, hurt feelings and broken relationships. Have the money talk now, before it’s too late.

 

Kurt Kazanowski, MS, RN, CHE, is author of A Son’s Journey: Taking Care of Mom and Dad, and has more than three decades specializing in hospice, home care and senior care.

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