Author: Michelle Daly

How to ask for the help you need

So many caregivers find their requests for help fall on deaf ears. So many people say they’re willing to help, but then they never seem to be around when you need them. Why does this happen? People offer to help, so why don’t they? Click To Tweet Friends and family It can be uncomfortable to do, but letting people know you could really use their help is important. Ask a neighbor if they could pick a few things up for you while they’re out. Let your community organizations know you could use a volunteer for a few hours to...

Read More

Breaking a promise

So many of us have promised our parents that we’d never put them in a home. And then, one day, we do. Putting a loved one in residential care is an incredibly difficult decision for anyone. It’s even harder when doing so breaks a promise we’ve made. Here’s what our community has to say about it. I do care for my invalid Mother at home, but promises or not, there are instances where one can no longer care for a parent; so choose a nursing home carefully, visit very often. – Phyllis M. What if you get sick? Or...

Read More

Little gifts to brighten a caregiver’s day

Caregivers can be tough to shop for! When you’re busy taking care of everyone else, there’s hardly any time left for hobbies. The best way to brighten a caregiver’s day is always going to be taking something off of our to-do list for us. Having an afternoon off from running errands or a little time to ourselves is always appreciated. It’s hard to wrap “stopping by the pharmacy” or “an afternoon with grandma,” so here are a few ideas you can hand over… For when you’re not there to say it in person… For someone who needs a boost… For...

Read More

This is what caregivers want in 2017

The lives of caregivers rarely rely on the calendar, they go on the schedule of the person we’re caring for! Still, the beginning of a new year is a time for reflection. Here’s what our community is planning on doing this year…and what we’re hoping others will do to help us. What are we hoping to do in 2017? Find one week to do what I want to do when I want to do it Take my caree out to more fun places Help my caree to be stronger and more independent Continue to just be…and be thankful for...

Read More

Healthy holiday treats

The holidays are a time for indulgence, but not all of us are at liberty to indulge. Don’t skip the holiday fun! Try one of these healthier options to celebrate the holidays. Snowman porridge Porridge plus blueberries, chocolate chips, and strawberries. Or whatever you have at hand. Get creative! Chia pudding with kiwi Chia pudding is easy to make ahead of time. You can make it with regular milk or any sort of non-dairy milk, like soy, almond, or hemp. Add some kiwi puree and slices to add some Christmas flair. Avocado and tomato bites Smash some avocado, smoosh...

Read More

Can caregiving lead to PTSD?

Most people associate PTSD with veterans of war, but you don’t have to be a soldier to experience this condition. The NIMH defines PTSD as ‘a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event.’ When people experience a traumatic event, it’s common to be impacted by it with a range of emotions. People with PTSD don’t recover from this initial trauma. It doesn’t have to be triggered by a ‘dangerous’ event; many people experience PTSD after the death of a loved one or another emotionally challenging experience. Risk factors for PTSD will...

Read More

Caregivers get real about what it’s like

We talk a lot about how rewarding and meaningful caregiving can be. Most of us would never trade our responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean caregiving isn’t the most difficult thing we’ve ever done. Instead of trying to sugarcoat it, how about offering caregivers some real support? I cared for my mom for 10.5 years after her stroke. She moved in with me when I was 29 and moved to an assisted living when I was 40. Now she is about to transition to a Nursing Home. So scary, because as many of you know, out country SUCKS at taking care...

Read More

Taking a personal inventory

As caregivers, we so often forget about ourselves. Sometimes it’s helpful to take a few minutes to take a personal inventory. Reflecting on today How did the day go? What challenges did I endure? What success did I experience? What did I do for myself today? What did I enjoy about today? What did I learn today? What did I learn about myself? What did I learn about others? What do I play to do — differently or the same — tomorrow? Who have I spoken to lately? Who have I seen lately? Long-term vision What do I want my life...

Read More

Things NOT to say to a caregiver

Someone you know has recently taken on caregiving responsibilities. You want to show your support, but you aren’t sure what to say? Here are some tips on what not to say and suggestions on how to be supportive. I hear a lot of these comments from people who probably should know better; I attribute it to them wanting to help, but not having the correct vocabulary, similar to when someone passes away. They want to commiserate, show empathy and affection, but don’t understand what to say or do. It’s okay. I’m far from perfect, too, and have said dumber things...

Read More

Learning to forgive myself

Do you feel like you’re doing the best you can, all the time? No matter how hard I try, it gets to me sometimes. Love alone isn’t enough for me to not lose my cool. Maybe it should be. Maybe it is for you. (is it?). But the pressure mounts…the bills are piling up, insurance is denying pre-approved claims, the laundry, the dishes, meals to be cooked, lunches to be packed, the mortgage is late. My boss is losing patience with how distracted I am and how I’m always late. Sometimes I lose my cool. I yell. Or I...

Read More

Guide to cancer resources

The Caregiver Space is here to support caregivers, but we’re not the only organization that’s here to help! Here are resources our community has found helpful. Please note that this isn’t an official endorsement and we’re not affiliated with these organizations. Is there an organization or resource that’s helped you that isn’t on the list? Let us know. General Information & Support The American Cancer Society For more than 100 years, the American Cancer Society (ACS) has worked relentlessly to save lives and create a world with less cancer and more birthdays. Together with millions of our supporters worldwide,...

Read More

Advance directives: Dying without deity

Advance directives are an important way to ensure you and your loved ones receive the type of care and memorial services that are in line with your wishes and beliefs. Many healthcare systems are affiliated with a particular religion and family members may wish to impose their own beliefs on others. In those cases, it’s especially important to document your wishes and share that information with your family and healthcare providers long before it’s needed. The Institute for Science and Human Values invited Debra Smietanski and Carol Anne Johnson to outline the steps to necessary to prevent unwanted religious intrusion through advance...

Read More

Turning healthy habits into a game

For the past two years, Mango Health has been working to make sure patients take their medicine. There are lots of medication reminder apps, so what makes this one unique? Mango Health’s team comes from the world of online gaming — they know how to get people logging in every day. Over 1 in 3 people who sign up are still using Mango Health to make sure they’re taking their medication as prescribed after a year. Three in 4 people are using the app every single day. That’s huge. Mango Health goes beyond just tracking your medication. The app now tracks...

Read More

On the road, disabilities and all

When people talk about what’s important to them or what they want to do when they retire, so many people talk about wanting to travel. If you and your spouse — or your parent or your BFF or your kids — always talked about that trip you were going to take someday, disabilities don’t have to stop you from living your dreams. Sure, it takes extra planning, but there are resources and experts out there to help. Plus, the things that go wrong are part of the adventure, right? Disabilities don’t have to hold you back from your dreams of...

Read More

Become a home care champion

America needs more caregivers for our rapidly aging population, but we don’t provide them with a living wage or adequate workplace protections. Low wages lead to high turnover and poorly trained staff. Stressed out workers come to work sick because they have no health insurance or sick days. Workers are less reliable because they can’t afford reliable transportation or childcare. Many caregivers make less than $10 an hour — meaning they’re impoverished, even with a full-time job. Many caregivers work full time and still can’t pay their bills Click To Tweet Learn more about Fair Pay for Quality Care on the North...

Read More

Is it possible to have a significant other while taking care of your parents?

Many people put their lives on hold when they first step into a caregiver role. That’s fine for short-term caregiving, but putting your life on hold for years or decades means a life unlived. Finding someone that fits into the lifestyle is difficult but not impossible. I found mine, just took 4 yrs lol we are still strong and loving one another 8 yrs. He is a home body too (perfect as they get). – Donna Marie B. I had tried dating a few men during the course of taking care of my Mom and they were either too needy,...

Read More

The Care for All Veterans Act

Right now there’s a major oversight in the programs available through the Department of Veterans Affairs. Their family caregiver program only covers members of the Armed Forces or veterans who are seriously injured or became ill on active duty after September 11, 2001. That leaves a lot of veterans without the support they need. But a bill was introduced to Congress this summer designed to change that. If passed, services currently provided to families of post-9/11 veterans will be extended to veterans who served before 9/11. The Care for All Veterans Act is sponsored by Rep. Elizabeth Esty. Please...

Read More

Remembering & honoring our grandparents

So many of us have grandparents who have already passed. We each find different ways to honor their memories. What traditions does your family have to remember your grandparents? My grandparents were so in love. They married at 18 and were together for the rest of their lives. They’ve been gone for six years now, but my whole family still gets together every year to toast their anniversary. They’re the reason we’re all here and they were such an incredible example for all of us. – Nicole R. I light a candle at church for my grandmother every week. – Michael...

Read More

Seniors & chronic conditions

4 out of 5 seniors suffer from at least one chronic condition, according to AARP. We’re here to help our loved ones manage their conditions to they can continue to live a fulfilling life — so we can, too. As part of our coverage for Grandparent’s Day, I’m sharing some of my favorite resources for the most common chronic conditions faced by grandparents. 4 out of 5 seniors suffer from at least one chronic condition Click To Tweet Studies show that 25% to 50% of patients don’t take medications as prescribed. PillPack makes it easy for seniors to take their medications...

Read More

What do we owe abusive parents?

Every year over 500 children in the US are murdered by their parents. In fact, that number is a low estimate. Other organizations say over 1,500 children died of abuse or neglect in 2012. 80% of murdered children are under the age of 7. Half were beaten to death. Murdering their own children is one of two crimes that women commit as frequently as men. In the US, children who are too young to go to school are murdered by their parents more often than by anyone else. Of course, most children who are abused or neglected survive. Nearly 1 in...

Read More

Talking about stable conditions

Sometimes caregiving has wild ups and downs, but other caregivers face endless days that are the same. I know people mean well, but asking if someone with an incurable disease is feeling better wears on my nerves. Sometimes I find myself wanting to let people know that if they find a cure they’ll be reading about it in the New York Times. I’m not the only one who’s torn between appreciation that they care enough to ask and frustration that they just don’t get it. I’m tired of that question along with “Has he had any improvement ?” You...

Read More

The cost of unpaid caregiving

People are starting to talk about caregiving. A recent Forbes article highlighted how 40 million family caregivers in the US are putting their own careers on hold to provide unpaid care — sometimes for decades. As a result these family caregivers could find themselves unable to provide for themselves in the future. Our community had some strong reactions to this piece. Here’s what they had to say: Lost careers Savings gone. My professional career went out the door. Don’t know when I get back in the workforce if I will ever make the same salary. I know I wont be able to live off...

Read More

Difficult conversations on end-of-life care

Joy’s piece on her experience caring for her mother as she died at home got a huge reaction. Our community members have had dramatically different experiences taking care of someone in their final hours. Here are some of the things they shared: Get help My father did t want to die in a hospital, so I being a nurse kept him at home a cared for him! The emotional toll it took on my was too much! I care for my mom with Alzheimer’s now and if she gets to ill at home I’m getting major help! Not going...

Read More

7 tips to make working from home easier

The ability to work from home makes so many of our lives easier. Of course, easier isn’t the same as easy. 7. Set hours One of the benefits of working from home is being able to have flexible hours. It’s great to be able to take an afternoon off to take someone to an appointment. However, if I don’t set hours for myself I can end up accidentally working way more hours than I should and no one knows when I’m ‘on call.’ Set hours based on the schedule that works best for you, your coworkers, and the person you’re caring...

Read More
  • 1
  • 2

start your week with a smile


Sign up to get our Monday morning emails with:

  • expert resources
  • stories from caregivers like you
  • a little bit of motivation
  • our weekly journal prompt
  • news that affects your life
  • join the conversation in our private caregiving facebook group

    Recently Active Members

    Profile picture of Cori Carl
    Profile picture of Bob Harrison
    Profile picture of barbward
    Profile picture of Georgine
    Profile picture of Iris Waichler
    Profile picture of Adrienne Gruberg
    Profile picture of John

    Ads to Support Us

    Ads to Support Us

    Skip to toolbar