January 21, 2016 at 9:47 pm #41564
Donna Ryder StolaszParticipant
Hi All, I am a caregiver for my 72 yr old husband with ALZ and he has 2 adult sons by his first marriage. One son works second shift, but does call and comes by frequently and will stay with my husband when I need to get out. But the other son who lives closer and does have a crazy work schedule, but insisted last fall that he would like to take his Dad once a month and spend time with him. It happened once, he rarely calls unless he needs something, and this year the Xmas card was made out to just his Dad, gave his Dad a gift, but nothing for me. I am the one who buys the Xmas gift for both sides of the family. He came over to cut up a tree that had come down, didn’t even come in the house to say hello, when my husband went outside to see him, he barely said a word to his Dad.. I think he is in denial and avoiding the whole situation. And maybe he thinks if something happens to his Dad that I won’t give them what is coming to them according to my husbands will. I feel like I am not going to get a lot of help on that end. I suggested a family meeting a few months back and he got very angry and didn’t even want to talk about it or have his “idiot” brother there ( I am quoting him) I feel bad for my husband too, he wonders where he is, and sometime he may come over and Dad won’t know him? I was told in support group to try again for a family meeting with a minister, or lawyer there as a neutral party…Any ideas??? and thanks ! DS
July 4, 2017 at 3:20 am #66055
Trying once more for a family meeting by keeping a lawyer as a neutral party is the best way to sort out the issues. Your husband needs his children love and affection. You may also ask help from the son who regularly visits his father to explain the second one, or at least try to know what he is thinking. Also try to get more advice from the family lawyer, as they also act as a counselor other working on a legal matter.
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