It’s incredibly stressful to have someone you love in the hospital. Not only are you worried about their health, it almost seems like hospitals were designed to be as stressful as possible! Constant interruptions, florescent lights, beeping and blinking machinery, and incredible levels of crowding guarantee we’re all on edge.

Sometimes, especially with teams of medical staff coming and going at random, I wonder if my son is getting the best care. Are these staff members familiar with his medical history? Do they have all the information they need? Are they ordering tests he doesn’t need and skipping over ones that might be more appropriate? Medical staff are rushed and exhausted…and only human.

After more than a decade of being in-and-out of hospitals with my son, I feel confident in my ability to advocate for him to get the best care possible.

I always keep a notebook with me. I take notes when I’m talking to the doctors, including their names and titles, so I can keep track of things. I ask questions of the doctors at the time, but I also have the details I’ll need to look things up on my own later and ask follow-up questions.

I ask staff members if it’s okay to contact them with questions and how they prefer to be contacted. If someone is okay with me emailing them questions I make sure not to abuse the privilege and be respectful of their time.

I stay calm. Yes, it’s an emergency for me and my son is my top priority. But I recognize that’s true of just about everyone in the hospital. Hospital staff need to balance the needs of all of their patients, so I’m firm in asking for the care he needs, but also remember that things can’t always happen on the timeline I’d like.

I’m persistent. It’s tough to find the right balance of making sure things aren’t forgotten without becoming that mom.

I’m open to suggestions. My son and I know his health best, but we’re in the hospital for a reason — these people are experts, too. It can be difficult, but I try to make sure we’re working with his medical team and not just trying to convince them to take the course of treatment we think is best.

I appreciate the staff. Hospital staff are people. They have good days and bad days, too. I try to remember this, thank them for their help, and cut them slack when they drop the ball. Treat others like you’d like to be treated.

Susie Miller

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