It’s still hard for me to believe Steve would have been 75 (yikes) today. Don’t know why this year I dreaded this day. Mitch [Steve’s brother] texted me pretty much at dawn to remind me—like I could really forget. Why does everyone in Steve’s family think they knew him better than I did. He spent more of his life with me than with anyone else. Does blood give them “right of ownership?”
Picked up the posters at Staples and spent the rest of the day catching up on a lot of work I hadn’t gotten done earlier this week. There’s never nothing to do. I also have to write for my writing class on Thursday. Last time we met, I was pretty disheartened. Orlagh and I got there early last time and when we “checked in” and told Kate [our coach] how we’d found writing this time around, I was so clear about the fact that things weren’t flowing and I was very frustrated with it all. When my turn came to read my work, Paul and Victor [the other members of the group] had arrived, and Paul made a comment about flow in his critique.
I wasn’t crazy about how his comment was handled. I agreed with him, clearly. Why did Kate make such a big deal about flow when I’d already said I’d had a problem with it? I didn’t say it, but I was pretty angry that my own comment was ignored. We don’t allow crosstalk in the group, so I wasn’t allowed to defend myself. Really not a great feeling.
So now I have to write for next Thursday and I plan on getting that done over the weekend. Gotta make it FLOW!
Marjorie and I caught the last ferry, as planned, and managed to avoid traffic—as planned. She’s pooped out already—she usually goes to bed at 8:00 and gets to the office at 6:00 a.m. at the latest. And…she goes to the gym before work on some days. She’s amazing. No shame in wanting to go to sleep. I’m gonna put my head down pretty soon. Just have to get my stuff together for the a.m. shift selling cookout tickets at the market.
Oh—when we got to the ferry, Matt picked us up and when we got to the house, he had gotten flowers for us and lit candles. He said “Girly stuff.” It was nice.
Adrienne Gruberg is a former family caregiver and founder of The Caregiver Space. After six years of caring for her late husband and mother-in-law she conceived of an online support space all caregivers could come to. Adrienne holds a BFA from Boston University. She founded AYA Creative in 1982, an award winning graphic design, marketing and advertising company. Her design training has helped shape the website and her personal and professional experience continues to inform and influence the caregiver centric support experience she has created at The Caregiver Space.