Elder care

No help and caught in the middle

This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Barbara 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #63279 Reply


    It’s so good to find people who can relate to what I’m going through.

    I’m about to retire early. My husband died a few years ago so now I’m on my own. My dad passed away a few years ago, so now my mom and I take care of each other.

    My two older siblings do nothing to help. They do show up whenever they need money. When my dad died they were openly upset that it all went to my mom. They stopped talking to her over it.

    I’m happy to help my mom, especially since we’re both widows. But she’s been very difficult since dad died and I’m losing my patience. She resists help, but is also very demanding. She’s very upset about my siblings not talking to her, but she’s taking it out on me.

    I can’t force them to call her or visit her. Frankly, I’ve done what I can and now I don’t want to get into the middle of it.

    It’s a lot of work to take care of her without any help, as she’s in her 90s. Both of us have doctor’s appointments, bills, houses to take care of, all sorts of things that fall just on me. I don’t expect her to fawn over me with gratitude, but it’s tough spending so much time caring for her and being treated to all of her complaints.

  • #63754 Reply


    It is so hard. My 92 yr old mother calls me names and tells me she doesn’t need me as I once again clean her up. She has eight children and 7 too “busy” to care. She denies I’m her daughter and she waits for the one who comes once a year to celebrate not mom’s birthday, but her own. But I wouldn’t dream of putting her away. I just go to bed and cry. God is the only one I can depend on.

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