I am the sole caregiver for my disabled husband of 49 years. He is diabetic, on dialysis three days a week, a double amputee, and has no feeling in arms and hands. Fingers are part amputated and part gnarled. His hands are almost useless.

Before he became truly disabled he was staying with and caring for his father. I lived alone and did the best I could. We had not been good together for many years. He was also abusing pain killers. Every dime he got his hands on went to his habit. I didn’t make enough to cover household expenses with any extras at all. He came into the home I was living in and took anything of value to the pawn shops.

After he became totally disabled he came back to this house. For a while he was well enough to get around, drive his brand new truck, and do as he pleased. He was abusive toward me in our early years! My problem now is after all these years I’m beginning to realize how trapped I am. I can’t even go shopping for a day.

This Christmas was horrible. The day after Thanksgiving I ended up in the hospital I had a strangulated femoral hernia that required emergency surgery. Thanks God my daughter was here. If not, I may be dead. But after that surgery I spent 3-4 days in the ICU.

When I came home my living husband acted like I should pick right back up not missing a beat caring for him. I was told to be careful no lifting or straining. Oh yes he never made the effort to visit me and the only time we talked was when I called him.

My question to you is, do caregivers learn to literally hate the person they are caring for? Please help.


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