• Niki posted an update in the group Group logo of Spousal CaregiversSpousal Caregivers 3 months, 1 week ago

    I hope I find new friends in here that can relate to caring for their spouse. I have been caring for my husband through 3 years of colon cancer, and I’d love to pretend I have been perfect throughout, but I hope I find a place to connect with others where it’s okay not to be the perfect wife, mother, family provider, etc all the time. I have reached a point that I most often just ‘go along to get along’ because even the slightest disagreement makes me feel guilty. I am now finding that this attitude in me is not good for ANY of us – it leaves me often hurt or silently angry, and it often sends mixed messages regarding expectations to our children, the results are manifesting in their teen years. I just need to vent sometimes, without feeling judged about it, to help me cope with the guilt, as I work on making sure my actions are thoughtful for ALL of us, and not just my husband. Help?!?

    • Les replied 3 months ago

      We are all perfectly imperfect. I understand and relate to EVERYTHING in your post. Know that you are not alone and I’m so glad to know that I’m not alone. This struggle is very real which is what led me to seek out caregiver resources in the first place. The group doesn’t seem to really active, but I’ll be around and we can chat with each other if no one else shows up. Make it a great day, Niki!

      • Maybe the others are just lurkers and will come up after they see a bit about us. Present issues for me include Debbie’s more frequent falls. Also extra support needed for moving around. Summers are usually harder and this one has been a hard one.