I hate it.

I hate that I have to know what it is.

I hate that I have to use it more and more every day.

I hate that I actually own this after “renting for two years” through my insurance company.

I hate that it tends to break and is no longer covered once you own it and the vicious cycle starts again.

I hate having to clean it after it’s used.

I hate that I have a favorite tip to use.  (The soft one that won’t knock her teeth out during a struggle)

I hate hearing it.

I hate hearing it in my sleep.

I hate having to sleep with one ear cocked, just incase.

I hate that she sees me cry every time I have to use it.

I hate knowing I have the strength of three men when I have to hold her down while using it.

I hate knowing of the silence, seconds before she starts to choke and I need this.

I hate mom’s that only have to use a blue bulb sucker.

I hate mom’s who think the blue bulb sucker is violent.

I hate that sometimes I grateful for this machine over the bulb bulb sucker, because those things SUCK!

moms, I don’t hate you I just wish I had my ignorance back…

Chrissy Gaskill 

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