We’ve been there and we’re here to help.
Here are some suggestions from fellow caregivers
I am at my breaking point right now. And the thing that is helping me…is solitude. I find a few minutes throughout my day that is quiet. No phone, tv, people just peace and quiet. Reflect on the positive reasons you are a caregiver. – Kristal S.
Share your feelings with organization, GP or support group that may be able to help you. Use this page as a means of “sounding off.” – Rosie H.
I also find that if I just sit down and make a list of things I am happy about or things I have accomplished…. A vocation whether it is a wife, mother, or caretaker of a sick, injured, or elderly person is infinitely more rewarding and meaningful than the worlds version of a happy life. – Jamie C.
“Nothing ever lasts for very long.” I have found validation in those words through many situations that have come my way. It does seem to keep things in perspective for me. – Patti G.
I took those moments when mom was asleep, to just go outside and grab some gulps of fresh air, some rays of sunshine or even a little bit of rain, to remind me that I was ALIVE. – Sugarpie Hunnybunch
First PRAY and realize it is at that point that you need a break. I keep Starbucks Frappuccinos in the frig for days like this. I pray sing & enjoy a frappuccino! Find what works for you & do it. No one can love you or take care of you in a moment like this better than you! – Eletha A.
I breathe deeply and believe this too shall pass. And it does. Takes a toll though. – Mary M.
Caregiving is not forever. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember you are someone’s angel and think of where they would be without you. Keep up the good fight! – Mark S.
Every situation is so unique. Getting away would be ideal–completely removing yourself from the situation for as long as possible. Possibly admitting that your personal health is at risk and you’ve done all you can humanly do and your loved one needs a more skilled placement. – Dulcie N.
Breathe. It’s just about the only answer when your family wont help. – Diana K.
Find a place that is all yours. A bathroom, a spot in the yard. Fall to yours knees and scream. And while you are down there thank God for how far you have come and ask for the strength to get you through this. And ask someone for help. Hugs and prayers to all who feel this way. My journey is over for the time being. And don’t feel guilty for feeling relieved for it being over. – Tina D.
A handful of Oreos and milk helps too. – Gail F.
It’s OK to admit you’re unhappy or sad and maybe even lonely. Say out loud how you feel, maybe not to the person you care for, but just say it when you are alone. Admission is very releasing. If you can’t verbalize what you feel, start a journal. Writing has helped me greatly. – Luci B.
Maybe just turning to the person closest to you and seriously letting them know how you feel and that you really don’t know what might happen if something doesn’t change. – Vicki H.
Create a sacred space in your own home where you can be alone for even 5 minutes. Or ask someone to be with you in person or phone for 5-10 minutes, and simply ask them to listen with 110% attention without responding. – Jay K.
I love M & M”s so I buy a bag and my favorite magazine and just enjoy myself for a little while. Always helps. I also have literally screamed into a pillow to let out my frustrations (making sure my loved one can’t hear). Sometimes the hardest thing is not to feel guilty if you enjoy yourself. I have to tell myself it is an ok thing. – Dianne M.
Even if you can’t physically get away, try to carve out as many “mini-breaks” as you can during a day. – Jeannette L.
Hospice can help get relief for the caregiver. – Antoinette H.
Step back…regroup…and remember why you do what you do. And the lives you’ve made better and the hearts you’ve touched with your love and compassion. – Debra J.
Make sure you eat healthy. It seems crazy but good food does help. – Jana B.
5 more minutes, then another 5 more, count to 60 and then again, say a prayer, hold your breathe for a minute or so, say another prayer, count to 60 again and then force yourself to get up, go for a walk, garden, meditate, whatever until you reach that stillness inside of you which no person, no event or circumstance can touch, remind yourself of who you are, why you are doing what it is you are doing and then go and do that thing. – Virginia B.
Meditation. Peace and quiet. Those things have saved my life. Also, some Prozac has been very helpful. My facebook friends have also helped a great deal. I have found that your breaking point will stretch. – Kerry D.
Talk to someone you trust. Have a good hard cry. Cry until you get it all out. – Bobbi C.
Go lay down on the closest piece of grass you find and look at the sky, take a deep breath, cry, and then get up and get at it again… – Rachel S.
My aunt takes me out once a week to an hour comedy show and the laughter is a great release. – Danielle H.
I keep a prayer journal. Quite often I rant. But usually I start writing down all that I am thankful for. – Maribeth C.
It’s hard but worth it in the end. – Garcia
Alexandra Axel was the first founding staff member at The Caregiver Space. As a New York native, Allie grew up people-watching and story-collecting, eventually pursuing her undergraduate degree from The College of New Jersey in sociology and creative writing. At The Caregiver Space, she worked with social media, graphic design, blogging, and program development to brand and grow an online community composed of, and focused on, caregivers. From the seedlings of an idea to the thriving community that it is today, Allie was there from the beginning to support the evolution of The Caregiver Space.
Allie enjoys writing poetry and short fiction, devouring books, biking, crafting, urban agriculture and imperfectly cooking. She currently resides in Brooklyn with her pup, Hen.